How to make the ‘best’ decision under the worst circumstances
You make more than 3,000 decisions every day.
What you’re going to have for lunch.
What you’re going to watch on Netflix.
What you’re going to wear for your job interview.
But I had to make one of the toughest decisions of my life last week.
My best friend, my family, my gorgeous dog, Sooty, was ill. She was 16 years old. She had been fighting off an infection. But her body was saying ‘nope, this is too much for my 115-year-old body’ (in the equivalent of human years).
I had been feeding and giving her water through a syringe three to four times every day. She was finding it hard to eat and drink.
I took her to the vet for the third time in as many weeks. And I was given the news no one wants to hear.
Sooty wasn’t going to get better. Sooty’s body was shutting down. When the vet told me what I had to do, it added an extra layer of sorrow.
In 2012, when I was getting fewer and fewer freelance assignments from Rolling Stone, I launched my own online publication.
I was sitting in my home office, aimlessly googling words, thinking of what to call the magazine.
Then Sooty walked in. (She liked the office. It was one of her favourite spots.)
‘Hey Soot!’ I greeted her.
And if there was ever a moment where cartoons were right, this was it. It literally felt as if a lightbulb went off above my head. My magazine would be called Soot Magazine.
Sooty and I would forever be connected.
And now the vet was telling me my best friend of 16 years wasn’t going to live.
The vet wanted me to euthanize her right there and then.
I knew my dog, and she wouldn’t want to go without saying goodbye to everyone. I felt pressured by the vet, but I knew what was right for Sooty.
I knew Sooty wanted to see her two doggy pals, Sylvie and Evie, and my brother.
I took Sooty home and kept her comfortable. I placed her on her doggie bed in the living room. She only had energy to wag her tail at Sylvie and Evie each time they walked past. She wasn’t walking. She wasn’t eating or drinking on her own.
I had to make a decision.
I spent most of the day crying.
I stayed up with her until 2am for two nights to make sure she was OK.
I sat on the sofa and held Sooty and spoke to her. She snuggled her head under my chin. She knew too.
The next day, she had gotten worse. I had to take her to the vet.
I had to make the hardest decision of my life. It had to be one that was best for my dog. And that’s all that mattered.
Nothing prepares you for the ‘best’ decisions you need to make in the worst kinds of situations.
The same goes for any big, life-changing decisions you’re faced with.
There are three things that can help you make the ‘best’ decision during the worst times.
1. Get the right information (not more information).
When you need to make a decision, often you go into this ‘stockpiling’ or ‘hoarding’ info mode. I looked up everything possible that could cure my dog. She’d already had all the blood tests. I looked up infections and bacteria, diets… everything.
When it comes to down to it, you just need the information that relates to the decision you have to make.
2. Check in with your emotions.
There are some people who say relying on ‘gut feeling’ isn’t the best way to make any decision. Think about the last time you made a decision. You had this nagging feeling deep down in the pit of your stomach. And you ignored it. You made that decision. And everything went pear-shaped.
Sure, that instinct alone doesn’t always work in some situations, but that feeling — that knowing — along with the information you have is the best way to make a decision.
At the end of the day, that’s what I had to do with Sooty.
I made the best decision I could based on the information I had. I trusted my feelings about Sooty and what she would want.
3. Make a decision that’s ‘good enough’.
You’ve heard of the saying ‘done is better than perfect.’
You know you need to make a decision and just ‘get it done’. But you want to make a perfect decision.
But when you have imperfect information, you have to make an imperfect decision. You have to stop overthinking it. Focus on making a ‘good enough’ decision.
In my case, I had to make a decision that was the ‘lesser’ of two evils ﹘ either way, Sooty couldn’t be saved.
The only thing I could do was make the best decision for her.
Now, you have to make your decision. Whatever decision you need to make, you can make it based on the information you have. Trust yourself.
